Long time no post

Wow sorry I haven't been on in awhile, so what is there to say?
I don't have a bf, not that I don't want one but I am trying to find a Asian guy in FL and that is like trying to find a polar bear in the desert lol.
Oh I am talking to my ex Matt again, he hasn't changed much but it is fun to talk to him lol.
 Stevie and I got into a fight again, ya I know, again lol. I called her shallow and I guess I hurt her feelings.
*sigh* sometimes I just can't help but shake my head at how immature and childish these "teenagers" act these days, #1 reason I go for older guys, most of them are mature. I mean I would KILL to be with Onew! Why? Cause he is the whole package.
1.Mature
2.Slightly immature (but in the good innocent silly way)
3.Funny!
4.Kind-hearted
5.Sweet
6.Caring
7.Fun
8.HOT!
9.Melting voice
10.Just a over all amazing person.


But *sigh* we all know that will never happen so why bother? Oh well a girl can dream lol
Anywho I g2g. L8r G8tr ~.^

Wondering

I wonder about a lot of things...I wonder when I'll find the right guy, I wonder when I'll get married, I wonder when I'll have kids, I wonder about the days when I get old and gray, and I wonder about when I die. Yes I wonder a lot, I also wonder if any of these things will be true, I wonder what happens if I don't meet a guy and get married, I wonder what happens if I don't have kids, I wonder if the only sounds I'll hear when I'm old are going to be my 20 cats (lol), and I wonder if I could die tomorrow. Because the future if not set in stone, with each breath I take, I might lose something, or with each thought I think I change the road I'm on. And in a way...that's a good thing, that means I can correct mistakes, or make them, I can make choices, and change my mind again. So I will keep wondering, cause after all...thinking of all the outcomes might not be such a bad thing :)

Um...blah

Well well well, look who is back. I know I haven't been on in awhile, sorry for that but...what to say...I feel like Sam from sex in the city (from the two episodes I watched lol) blogging about my life. Oh I suppose this would be the part I start gushing about a guy I like...well I don't care to go down that road again and I am sure you are tired of hearing my sob breakup stories. I just wanna know one thing, why do guys always break up with me? I mean I am nice...most of the time, I am funny, I am honest, so why? *sigh* I'm afraid I still haven't found that answer but hopefully I will one day. I want to look for another guy, but I don't want another long distance relationship. I keep having this dream, I've had it for the past couple of nights now...I meet a really cute asian guy in my town, he's new to Sebring and his mom and my mom get along really well, that's how we met, his mom invites us over. I'm a noona to him (older then him) but only by like 1-2 years, but he is taller then me lol. We start talking and find out we have a LOT of stuff in common, and the best part of my dream...well it goes like this.
Me: *stares at him*
Him: what?
Me: *blushes and looks away* n-nothing
Him: oh come on you can tell me *smile*
Me: I was just thinking....your eyes are beautiful
Him: really? *get's closer* cause I was thinking the same thing about you *kisses*

>w< yes I know I am sappy but that is how it goes, it's a relationship where we take care of each other. I don't know, I guess in the end it's just what it is...a dream.

2 months!

Oppa and I have been dating for 2 months now!!! ^.^

SHINee in the morning

Ok well I had posted this awhile back but I deleted it, so I wanted to post it again. ^.^

1 Month

I just realized that Oppa and I have been dating for a month now...a month! it seems like it was just yesterday that we first met. lol ok it's 3:42 am, so I am off to bed, I just wanted to share this ^.^

Update on life

Wow I haven't posted in a while. Sorry guys, I guess I just got lost in my life. I met someone new, though Ayu is still a hurtful subject, my Oppa Jaeho is helping it heal. I met Oppa about a little over a week after Ayu left. I logged onto Koreancupid.com and saw that this really cute Korean guy had...
1.Viewed my profile
2.Sent me a Interest
3.Sent me a message
4. And added me to his favorites. Well he was a standered member as well so I couldn't read the message. But luckily he had his Skype on his profile, so I added him and we started talking. He's 24, and lives in Washington state. He's in collage, over here on a student Visa. He says that if he passes his collage exams he gets to stay over here for 4 more years; if he doesn't he has to go back to Korea in December for 2 years then come back to the US for 2 years. On the 3rd day of talking he said I was his girlfriend...ya for once the guy took the first step lol, and we've been cyber dating ever since, but we want to meet, he says he might be able to come down to FL in September, when his classes end and stay for 2 months. But he really wants to pass his exams so we can be together for longer. and his words, and I quote.
[4/22/2011 1:10:30 AM] Me: Oh I have a question Oppa
[4/22/2011 1:10:41 AM] Me: now that you are in school, do you still have to leave in December?
[4/22/2011 1:11:29 AM] Oppa: ah no
[4/22/2011 1:11:49 AM] Oppa: my class ends 16 semtember
[4/22/2011 1:12:20 AM] Oppa: after that I have to prepare colleage exam
[4/22/2011 1:12:37 AM] Oppa: or go back to korea for graduate university
[4/22/2011 1:13:03 AM] Oppa: and come bank to US for entering after graduate
[4/22/2011 1:13:24 AM] Oppa: to get masters digree
[4/22/2011 1:13:52 AM] Oppa: I'm not sure plan
[4/22/2011 1:14:14 AM] Me: ok so unless you pass the collage exam you have to go back to korean then come back to the US for the final 2 years right?
[4/22/2011 1:14:33 AM] Oppa: exatly
[4/22/2011 1:14:37 AM] Oppa: exactly
[4/22/2011 1:14:44 AM] Oppa: but I will pass
[4/22/2011 1:14:48 AM] Oppa: lol
[4/22/2011 1:15:11 AM] Me: lol ok so what happens when you pass then? you just stay here for 2 more years?
[4/22/2011 1:15:33 AM] Oppa: 4years
[4/22/2011 1:15:40 AM] Me: 0.0
[4/22/2011 1:15:43 AM] Oppa: 2 colleage 2 university
[4/22/2011 1:16:06 AM] Me: so you get to stay here for 4 years? if you pass
[4/22/2011 1:22:03 AM] Oppa: yes
[4/22/2011 1:22:15 AM] Oppa: that't the best way I want
[4/22/2011 1:22:20 AM] Oppa: and marry you
[4/22/2011 1:22:24 AM] Oppa: wow

He wants to marry me ^.^

We talk every night even if it's for 10 minutes. And we webcam a lot too. He's super sweet, kind, caring, a gentleman and yet pervy, and just...awesome :)


This is my Oppa! ^.^ Niiiii -glomps-

lol we both thought this was funny. It's a app he has on his phone. It says he looked 95% like Kim Jaejoong.

Dragon Boat Festival and Leesburg Bike Fest

Well today was kinda fun I guess...got up at about 7 am X_X. heard mom complain about how Henry was going to fast on the bike and leaving her behind, took a lot of pictures on the way up here as well. Then we headed to watch the dragon dance which was AWESOME!!!!! Then back to the hotel, then wal-mart, then the hotel, the we went to the bikefest...ya it sucked. It was funny though, I was walking around with mom and Henry, listening to music, when suddenly I look up and mom is pointing towards something, I look over to see two asain guys talking to me.
"come on get your mother to buy you some pretty jewelry" XD ya I didn't get anything, but the one seemed VERY excited if I asked if I could get a picture of them. then mom make me take a pic WITH them. Again the one was VERY excited. XD
But I didn't care, I had been kinda bummed because I didn't have internet yet at the motel so I couldn't talk to Oppa TT.TT and seeing all the couples kissing at the bikefest DIDN'T HELP!!!!
I can't wait until I finally get to be with Oppa, hug him, kiss him, hold him. -sigh- there were asian guys all around today, but all I thought of was him.



Saturday
   The Dragon boat festival was AMAZING!!!! The dragon dance, the lion dance, THEEEEEEEN!!!!!! HOT ASIAN GUYS!!!!! they were the acrobats. OMG they were AWESOME!!! I got a bunch a pictures, including my picture taken with the chinese "prince" which were awesome aswell ^.^ lol
Mom didn't go back to the bikefest with Henry, because it seemed like he didn't even want her there. I have a feeling sadly they will not last long. Mom asked if you can make a asian dating site account and just put "it's complicated". She was really checking out the asian guys, both young and old.

Ok well I got to go, Henry is back, as is Mary and Doug. I'm sleeping on the floor tonight...thrills...I will be soooooooooooooooooo glad when we go home tomorrow. I miss Oppa so much, as well as Stevie.

Wandering through life again

I keep deleting posts I know, but the subject of him is still an open wound, an open wound I don't feel like having salt poured into every time I see something I wrote about how much I loved him, because it will just remind me of how stupid I was to fall for a guy that was like 9,000 miles away and obviously didn't care about me. So now I am wandering through life again, I thought I had found my missing puzzle piece, but I guess I was just trying to force two pieces together that weren't made to fit. So I guess I am still searching, I'm sure I will find the boy who fits perfectly one day, I just have to wait...no matter how painful, depressing, and lonely waiting and searching is.

heart break

the pain is back...stronger then ever. The man I loved, and who I thought loved me...wants to take it slow, and I agree, we rushed in way to fast, we hardly knew each other and we were talking about marriage and kids. he's right, you can't have a total relationship with someone who you've never met. But I don't wanna hear that he just wants to be friends. heh he said I'm the good girl. There's that fucking title again, why am I always labeled that?? why does it haunt me...the fucking good girl....TT.TT I want to crawl under a rock and die.